I've been reading a book Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow and for me it really hit home. Here is a summary of some of the key points I found helpful in the book and I hope you will consider them as you think about men's programs in your church and how men react to church in general. Murrow also has a website churchformen.com and there are sections specifically for churches which may be of interest to you.
It seems that men have always been under-represented in the church (except in the clergy). On any given Sunday the audience in most churches is about 60 percent female (up from 53% in the 50's). Nationally, that’s well over 13 million men AWOL from church. But there are other troubling statistics as well. About 25% of married women worship without their husbands. Less than 10 percent of churches are able to maintain a thriving men's ministry. About 90 percent of the boys raised in church abandon it during their teens and 20s never to return. In a Men in Balance survey (http://meninbalance.org) of churchgoing males, only 56% say their family sees them as a strong spiritual leader.
On the positive side, when a mother attends church, the chances of the rest of the family attending are about 17%. When the father attends, the chance that the entire family will attend jumps to 93%. There's good reason to get men more involved in the church.
David Murrow suggests a number of reasons why men do not attend church in larger numbers. While I am aware that many of the reasons men give for not attending church seem flimsy, there are a lot of things which we can do in churches to make them more "male friendly."
The full article is at http://meninbalance.org/articles/menhatechurch.htm
What do you think??? I'd really love to start a dialog about this.
Jerry Hancock, Executive Director
Men in Balance
Monday, August 4, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Divorce
Recently divorced and have my kids every other weekend and need any help or suggestions on how to deal with issues with the kids, being with their mom fulltime in how to deal with the kids when i have them. It seems like i have to compete with what mom does for them. Seems like she is spoiling them and with child support and all it is hard for me to compete. With trips that she takes them on and them getting older and wanting to be with their freinds even though they only see dad every other weekend. (from an email)
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Money Issues
Hey guys -- it is great to have this forum to kick things around. I have always thought there is a certain breed of guy who treats money just like money length -- "Look at me! Mine's bigger than yours!" When -- in truth -- past a certain (relatively minimal) point, it doesn't matter.
Responses?(FM)
Responses?(FM)
Children Issues
My kids are grown and it is payback time, I guess. I did not spend a lot of time with them when they were coming up and now they seem too busy with their own lives to spend much time with my wife and me. I drop hints but no luck so far. There will likely be grandchildren soon and I don't want to miss out on that. GH
Marriage Issues
My wife is the world's greatest critic--especially of me. I don't handle that well and we frequently wind up in arguments. I heard a minister say the Christian thing to do is to simply listen and not respond. How can you do that? It hurts--and she doesn't seem to care. Do others feel this way? LV
Work Issues
I recently had a conversation with my boss in which I told him I was heavily committed to my family and church. About a month later, I was passed over for a promotion and I can't help but think there is a connection. To me the lesson is, don't talk about personal stuff at work! KJ
Sexual Issues
I feel like the sexual side of my marriage is dead. We have "mercy sex" but I have difficulty sometimes getting aroused at that kind of sex. We're both near retirement but I don't want to retire from my love life. TC
Spiritual Issues
I would like to deepen myself spiritually but I have not done anything about it. I really do not know how to start. I am active in church, but honestly do not feel it offers much of value to me. I would appreciate any suggestions. KF
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