Security: What Is It, Really?

The Tuesday morning Men in Balance session in Cornelius, N.C. talked this week about the subject of security and what it means to each of us. Most of us talked about how security was tied to our financial well-being, or our ability to earn a living and provide for our family, or good health (so that we could work and make a living)--but most of the emphasis was on financial security.



As we talked further, most of us agreed that true security revolves around our faith and family. Having close members of the family to support us--knowing that we can count on others when we need them-- becomes more important as we grow older. It seemed to be hard for us to think about security in non-financial terms. Someone challenged us about whether our faith truly gave us security. For example, we go through the motions of prayer and discussion about our faith in church or Sunday School or some other form of worship, but if we had to face a crisis suddenly, would our faith be strong enough to get us through? That seems to raise some questions . Why? If our faith is not strong enough to get us through difficult situations, what does that say about our own need for spiritual growth?



There's some research that shows that men tend to think of security primarily in financial terms. On the other hand, women tend to think of security in terms of strong relationships and feeling loved and safe. There seems to be some fertile ground for further discussion on this topic. One possibility is to initiate a conversation with your spouse or partner about the subject of security and what it means to the two of you and how your definition of security might change as your relationship matures.



So here's the challenge: How secure are you in your life at the moment? Have you faced any recent "speed bumps" that make you think differently about security? Do you feel your faith is strong enough to get you through most crises you might face? Do you and your partner have similar ideas about what constitutes security for your marriage and your family? How secure do your children feel in their relationship to you and your partner? How might you and your partner jointly enhance the sense of security both of you have in the relationship?



Give these questions some thought. And share your ideas here.

Where are YOU out of Balance? Check our Survey for clues

Where are YOU out of Balance? Check our Survey for clues.

 

Only 2 weeks into the new year and already many men are saying they are having trouble keeping things in balance-especially work/life balance.

 

Our survey shows some interesting things:

 

Most of us (52%) tend to work more hours than our job requires
59% of us work more than 40 hours a week because the job requires it

 

39% of us say work causes us to miss family events

 

But 67% of us say we get a great deal of satisfaction from work even though it requires long hours

 

And 69% of us say the primary reason we work hard is to maintain or improve our standard of living

 

37% of us have had conflicts with our spouse over the number of hours we work

 

68% of us say we sometimes bring the frustrations of work home with us

 

26% of us openly admit to being workaholics

 

Work is truly stressful-especially in these tough times when fear of losing a job makes us more than willing to do the work of two people, taking on the associated stress as well.

 

There's still time!

 

It's not too late to re-direct some of your energy this year into your own development. It will make you a better person, a better spouse and a better employee. Think about how you can re-shape your calendar to allow for more meditation and reflection about what really matters in life.

 

 

Here are some places to look:

 

38% of us say we have no close friends with whom we can really "level." 49% of us say we are often too tired to enjoy family time or down time. 54% of us say we feel isolated in our personal life and 37% of us say our spouses do not understand the pressure we are under.

 

So here are 5 easy things to try that might lighten your load:

 

• Initiate a discussion with your partner about what is stressing you AND her. Get honest and don't try to be so invulnerable.
• Ask your best friend to be an "accountability partner" to remind you when you seem to be overdoing work or other commitments.
• Get an electronic book reader and download some inspirational books to keep close by when you travel. (You can also download some really good sermons if you like).
• If your dad is still living, re-connect on a more personal level this year. Ask his counsel on work matters, then on personal matters as well. He'll likely appreciate being asked.
• Focus on being "in the moment" with your children and family. Do your best to tune out work and other distractions and just enjoy their presence in your life.

 

 

 

What other ideas do you have? Put them on our blog so others can use them also!